Broken
by Dragonling743
Summary: One Shot, Myka and Helena fight.


Years. It felt as if I had lived without her for years. Did the time pass when I blinked? Is it still here hiding from me? I can't feel it anymore. Time. When did it leave me? Perhaps when she left me. I lay here, bleeding, staring at the sky, so cloudy and grey. Like her home. Always stormy. Tumultuous like her heart. I never said it to her. She never said it to me. Love, a silly word. Love means so many things. I love Pete, I love Leena. But not the way I love her. They are family, she is... She should be mine. Too late, all too late.

* * *

One hour ago.

"Hey! Don't turn your back on me, we are talking." I exclaimed, grabbing her by the shoulder. So impetuous, brash, overbearing. She made my blood boil, but I still put up with everything she ever did.

"You may be talking but I am leaving." Her arm whipped up and back, knocking my hand away. She stalked down the street, but I wasn't going to give in that easily. "I am tired of you trying to exploit my pain." She muttered.

"Exploit your pain? Helena!" She had accused me of it before, but it never felt so conniving, so painful, like she was manipulating me again. She had lived longer than I, and she knew things I could only pretend to know. I thirsted for her knowledge. Once again, I had delved too far, too deep, and now she lashed out again. I couldn't help but feel that this time, she was denying me, ensuring that I needed her wisdom, reassuring herself that I still cared.

"Every time I open myself to you, open up about what had happened, why I lived like that, you shut me down Myka! You leave me stranded in a sea of guilt and pain. You are my only way out. You are my life preserver, and you shut me out. leave me to drown!" She had whipped around to glare at me, her words lashing at my cheeks, making them sting and burn with unshed tears.

I didn't understand, we had been talking, I had said something, and her face. The pain was so blatant it hurt just to think about it. The weals on my body, only visible to myself, they throbbed with pain, I wanted to sag to my knees and beg for forgiveness, hold her close to me and pray she would forgive. But I needed to forgive her first. I needed to know that she was not using me for her own relief, as someone to bleed the pain off on, and then blame for the remaining poison.

"I am trying in every way I know how Helena! How was I supposed to know what I was doing? I was trying to talk to you, I didn't know!" I exclaimed, pain and heartbreak tearing through my chest, leaving me empty and broken. I couldn't do this, I couldn't look at her and let her see the pain, the betrayal. I turned and left her. I went to think, I went to clear my head and come back rationally.

"Whatever. I won't be here when you come back." She muttered resentfully, the words tearing through the last piece of self-control I had left.

I left to sob, I tried, so hard to keep her out of my thoughts, to calm myself. Perspective eluded me, everything I touched, looked at, made me think of her. She was in everything, her wonder at the simplest of things, music, laughter, all the things that were rare in Victorian days, the ways manners differed. I covered my eyes, trying to understand how this could have turned so badly. Every tick of my watch was the stab of a knife, knowing that she would not come back. Did not care anymore. I was left wondering if she had ever cared.

_~Darling, I am sorry, please.. Come back~ _I ignored the text, she was just trying to get me back so she could bleed off the pain.

_~Love, my heart is breaking, I am falling apart, please, come back and talk to me.~ _I couldn't handle it, her calling me love, darling, like nothing had happened. I hated the thrill that came into my chest when I heard the buzz of another text.

_~Myka..~ _I paused, my feet nailed to the ground, _~I love you. Let me love you~ _

* * *

The pounding in my skull. It beat with my heart. A horrible tattoo wasting away my life. Stupid. My father's voice commented passively. You stopped in the middle of the road to read a text. I pushed away the annoying old man. I was not going to die with his voice in my ears, mocking me in my final moments. With my blood, my life, my secrets spilling over the pavement, I only wished I could hear her voice.

Blackness spread through my vision in strange dots, popping in and out of existence. What little I could see was fuzzy and out of focus, a strange pressure behind my eyes telling me that I wasn't breathing. Fading, my body screaming for air, but I couldn't feel anything outside my skin. I was trapped in limbo.

"Myka..." That word, that voice. The only thing. It pulled me out. Heaven was in her touch on my hand, paradise in her lips on my cheek. Though she shook, and trembled, I did not care. Elysium was sitting right next to me.

Her actions are proud, stubborn is her best trait. She frustrated and infuriated me, she could build a time machine, but the proper use of a car eluded her. A genius, a totally oblivious genius. My love, my heaven. I hated the things she did and said, but I always forgave her, I always loved her, Nothing she ever did could break that. I didn't love what she did, I loved who Helena was. I loved Helena.

There was a panicked scream for paramedics, Helena was trying to save me. Silly woman. Hadn't she seen how hard I had fallen? Fallen for her, so hard, it hurt, it made me feel alive. I fell for her. There was no medicine for it, no fix. The pulsing of my heart slowed in my ears, I could hear her, her lovely babbling for me to hold on, and be okay. They didn't matter. What mattered was her hand on my face, her eyes on mine, the sweet words, 'I love you' falling from her lips.

I said the same, over and over, chanted my devotion. Could she hear me? Did she know? Well, to a dead person, eternity is nothing. I could wait for her, I could share my every feeling on the other side. There was no doubt in my mind that there was another place for us to go afterwards. There was no way life could exist without Helena George Wells being somewhere. As for me? Myka Ophelia Bering? I dare St. Peter himself to keep me away from her.


End file.
